22 April 2010

Breaking: Portsmouth FC To the US

As everyone knows Portsmouth FC has a bit of financial trouble. What has become clear to us here at MLS Rumors Rumors is that Portsmouth is trying to get out from their debt crisis and bad decision making with a move across the Pond. What? Portsmouth FC moving to the US? In a word, yes.

According to a good authority, the club is hopeful that their move to the United States will allow them to be eligible for TARP funding because Portsmouth FC is "too big to fail". Portsmouth FC owe over £92 million to various unsecured creditors, which makes them a drop in the bucket for a financial bailout by the US Treasury.

Our sources believe that a Treasury official would say, "We all appreciate the trouble that comes from appearing to reward bad behaviour. We all know that we cannot just throw money at these people, who are in debt up over their heads. But! But, if we allow Portsmouth FC to fail, where will that leave MLS? Portsmouth FC cannot be allowed to fail for fear of causing all the unsecured debts held by MLS to become a cascade of payment calls that brings the entire system crashing down. We cannot look at our grandchildren in the face and tell them that we were responsible for the fifth most popular sport in the US to go the way of NASL."

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